Never argue “on principle”. Inexperienced executives & managers react with questions like:

• “Why would you…?”
• “Are you sure that…?”
• “What makes you think…?”

These are just different ways of initiating an argument based on beliefs rather than driving alignment on business requirements. It is an invitation to be hoisted by your own petard by allowing them to substitute their (incomplete, distanced) context for your own. They have secret requirements and/or bias and would prefer to judge your solutions than give you the information you need to be trusted as a stakeholder. This may not be malice, but rather lacking leadership experience and falling back on power dynamics to plug that skills gap.

Try this: “What concerns do you have about…?”

Using this sort of reframing question moves the conversation back toward their hidden assumptions. Rather than falling into a defensive posture and laying out your entire argument from first principles, you need to know what specifically they are reacting negatively toward so you can narrowly address that rather than opening yourself up to further unwarranted scrutiny. They should have started there, but you can sometimes coach them toward it.

Once you find yourself needing to explain hours of thinking or years of experience, you’ve already fallen into the trap of arguing principles rather than driving alignment.